A Shinigami's Silent Sacrifice
by CharlotteDaBookworm
Summary: Ever since Ichigo had regained his powers in the Shattered Shaft in order to save Rukia he had changed. But then, having remembered what he did, who could blame him. This was his second chance, a chance that he never expected to get, so he wasn't going to waste it. ONESHOT


_**Summary-**_

Ever since Ichigo had regained his powers in the Shattered Shaft in order to save Rukia he had changed. But then, having remembered what he did, who could blame him. This was his second chance, a chance that he never expected to get, so he wasn't going to waste it.

 _ **Disclaimer-**_

I do not own Final Fantasy VII nor do I own Bleach - I'm pretty sure it's impossible to be coming up with coherent stories while still a young toddler, especially ones so good.

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"...To become the dew that quenches the land

To spare the sands, the seas, the skies

I offer thee this silent sacrifice.

LOVELESS Act V." Ichigo smirked at the shocked applause that rippled through the classroom.

It was understandable of course; it wasn't like he spoke up much during class. Ichigo wasn't a particularly loud person by nature and, although he would often get into shouting matches with any of the trash that attacked him, he didn't speak much outside of that unless he was close friends with the person or he had to. So the fact that not only had he volunteered to read out in class but he was also good (brilliant, really) at it surprised his classmates - they didn't expect much out of the scary scowling orange haired punk, even if said 'punk' was in the top 20 in year rankings. (A perfect example of not judging a book by its cover; people looked at him at saw the scowl and orange hair and thought _foreigne_ r and _gangs_ and _stupid_ when really he was anything but.)

Still, despite it being unnatural behaviour for him Ichigo couldn't help but take the chance when it was offered. Loveless always had been and always would be his favourite book, nothing would change that.

Not, of course, that anyone actually knew that little fact.

Sitting back into his seat next to Hirako, he placed the copy of the book he had been pretending to read from - it wouldn't do to have everyone know that he had had the entire poem memorised years ago after all - back down onto the desk before closing his eyes against the headache pressing in on him.

Ever since Ichigo had regained his powers in the shattered shaft in order to save Rukia ( _And, if he had really gone through with it because he felt empty (_ useless, _soulless_ , weak, **wrong** _) after Byakuya had taken his powers and something inside of him (_ a voice at the back of his mind that had been there for as long as he could remember. One that whispered warnings and knowledge to him when he needed it and comforted him in dark times. That he had ignored once and cost his mother her life. A voice that had never led him wrong.) _had whispered that if he did this he would be_ _**whole**_ _for the first time well, nobody needs to know_ ) headaches had been his constant companion ( _the feeling of pressure building up in his skull, like pinpricks behind his eyes and sharp stabbing pains in his temples that pulsed with the beat of his heart_ ) and he knew that he had been acting differently enough that he was worrying the girls, Goat-Face and Geta-Boushi. He had been more sociable, smiled more and scowled less, had better control over his reiryoku and seemed older than he physically was. Just, Ichigo couldn't help it.

He couldn't act the same because he **wasn't** the same anymore. Anyone would change after remembering a lifetime of memories - memories of a life where he had been both a hero and a villain, both a SOLDIER and a Monster, where he had saved lives and yet caused so many deaths. The memories had changed him.

Because, suddenly, he wasn't just Ichigo Kurosaki - Substitute Shinigami and older brother to Karin and Yuzu- anymore. Ichigo Kurosaki was _(had been_ ) _,_ in essence, a boy who blamed himself for his mothers death: he was naïve and didn't want to kill, stubborn and socially awkward, his sisters were the centre of his world, he loved to fight, had a short temper at times, didn't always put his full effort it, was a battle genius, would do absolutely anything for his friends and had no control or grace to speak of. He always put the needs of the few over the needs of the many and was still such a _child_ in so many ways despite being more mature than most normal teenagers.

But, once upon a time Ichigo Kurosaki had been Genesis Rhapsodos.

Genesis Rhapsodos who was a former-Commander of Shinra's SOLDIER forces. Genesis who had been a lover to Angeal Hewley - the other Commander of SOLDIER - and best friend to Sephiroph (Valentine, apparently. Who the hell would've guessed?) who was the General of SOLDIER. He had been a SOLDIER: one who had fought in a war as a teenager, who had killed his enemies, who had degraded and had lost his mind, who had defected and turned against all that he had known, who had descended into insanity and had dragged his lover and best friend with him. He had been a science experiment, maybe not as much as Sephiroph or Angeal who had been literally conceived to be experiments but he had still been experimented on since before he had been born.

Ichigo-who-was-Genesis developed numerous skills and instincts and had learned much during his first life. Skills and instincts that were causing him problems now.

For all that this life was a civilian (and he had no dreams of changing that - Genesis-who-is-now-Ichigo had more than enough blood on his hands already and he had spent to much time following someone else's orders back then to take it now. Not now when he was finally _**free**_. _(And isn't that odd, freedom is something that Genesis never imagined he would have. Something that had been beyond his reach his entire life_.)) Genesis couldn't ( _wouldn't_ ) forget what he had gone through (because that would mean forgetting Angeal and Sephiroph and he wouldn't do that - not after everything they had gone through together. Not after everything he had done to them. Not after everything the three of them had given up and survived.) and what he had learned ( _swordsmanship and hand-to-hand and materia and survival techniques and tactics and friendship and deception and cultures and- well, he had what was left of a whole world, a whole planet, in his head and he refused to let that go to waste)_ not when there was even the slightest chance that it could be used to save lives.

The Goddess Minerva had given him a second chance (a chance to repent for his sins, to make up for the lives he took, to be able to look his lover and best friend in the eyes again, to be able to rest knowing that he hadn't caused so much damage and destruction - _because he may not have been the one to kill Angeal and he may not have forced Sephiroph to let JENOVA in but_ _ **fuck**_ _he should have been there to help them, with them, because he was the one who loaded the gun, they just pulled the trigger_ \- this was his chance to be able to stand tall and proud again. To not be the traitor who, arguably, had set his entire culture on a course of destruction. A chance at a new life.) and there was no way that he was going to waste it.

If that meant that Genesis-and-Ichigo would spend hours scouring for books on practically everything they could think of (Maths, Geography, Cultures, Languages, Food, History, Sciences, Technology, Psychology, Art, Music, Drama...) and devouring them at a rapid pace because there was nothing worse than _not knowing_ ; not knowing costs lives and causes injuries and failed missions and **death**. If it meant that he woke up early to run through katas (ones that once upon a time he had known like the back of his hand and now seemed so familiar but so foreign at the same time) and control exercises; what was the point in having power if you can't use it - even the strongest of people can be defeated by someone weaker but with greater skill. If that meant Ichigo-who-is-Genesis stayed up late to run laps while wearing weights as well as going through the entire fitness program designed for SOLDIER's and their cadets; he might never have his SOLDIER strength back but if Genesis had his way then he's going to get as fucking close as he can. Well, there was nothing worse than having to stand back and do nothing because you weren't strong or knowledgeable enough to help - he was going to have to fight, Ichigo had accepted that, but he was going to do his damnedest to make sure that none of those that he cared about died. Not again.

His temples throbbed painfully and suddenly, jolting Ichigo-who-once-was-Genesis from his thoughts.

Sighing, Ichigo scrubbed a hand through his shaggy hair (he had been growing it out ever since he had regained his memories, after more than 20 years of longer hair having short hair just didn't feel right. He missed the weight of his hair, Angeal had always been the one with short spiky hair - just like that puppy of his.) and opened his eyes, taking in the entire classroom at a glance.

Hirako was watching him. Again.

Hirako who wasn't human. Genesis-and-Ichigo had been able to tell that since the he had walked into the room - his time as Genesis taking in the predators lope and shuttered, haunted eyes while his time as both Ichigo-and-Genesis picking up on the tightly restrained reiryoku and age-old aura that typically hinted at Shinigami. Still, there was something different about Hirako's presence: something darker, wilder and angrier. The closest match he come up with was Hollow but that just didn't quite fit right. It was odd and Ichigo couldn't place why the feeling was familiar, just that it was.

Ichigo listened with only half-an-ear for the rest of the day, lost in his musings on the familiarity of Hirako's reiryoku - _it was on the tip of his tongue_. When the last bell finally rang, he shouldered his bag, nodded to his friends and left for home.

END

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Right, so absolutely no clue where I was going with this. I was just typing up everything in my old notebook before I throw it out and figured that I got a decent length on this so I might as well post it. If anyone wants to continue this on just drop me a message so I can post a note on my profile or something. Sorry about the disappearing recently, I was doing NCS so was pretty busy on residentials except at the weekends where all I wanted to do was sleep. Right now I'm just typing everything I can up before I go camping for 2 weeks (nooooo, give me my wifi back you heathens), trying to get as much done as possible before I leave while keeping my mind off of my AS results day in August.

I've been trying to write for Masks of a Noah but literally all I have is 'Tyki POV' at the top - that's how well my bunnies are breeding - though, to be fair, it probably doesn't help that I refuse to post anything less than 1000 words. So yeah, if you're waiting on that then I'm sorry to say that it may be a while. Throw me some prompts if you want - seriously, my plot bunnies are dead, I have nearly no inspiration at all (for _anything_ ), and the longer I go without writing anything the less likely I am to get back into it.

Anyway, now that's over. Thanks to everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed on one of my stories. You guys are the reason that I keep writing and I'm glad that you enjoy reading these absolutely rubbish (to me, but you're your own worst critic I suppose) fics. Thanks for reading this fic and I will hopefully post again at some point in August, maybe earlier if I can.

Thanks again, CharlotteDaBookworm.


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